The Moose is Loose

You might be wondering about the title of this blog. Let me explain - I am the moose. As for "the moose is loose" - well, when my family would go skiing every year, there was a shop named just that, and for some reason it popped in my head today and I thought it was funny. So there you go. JBB doesn't like it when I call myself a moose, but hey, I call 'em like I see 'em, and when I look in the mirror, I see a moose. A very happy, tired, expectant moose.

I remember a time in the not so distant past when I would wake up, go to the mirror and examine my stomach to see if I "looked pregnant." I'd ambush JBB when I got home from work, and ask him the same thing, sticking my belly out as far as it could go. He'd study my profile and say, "Maybe a little Bertie", or "not today." HA! How naive I was. I mean, logically I knew I would eventually look pregnant, but it just seemed like that day would never come. Well, I'm here to tell you blog readers, it has come. Oh how it has come.

I'm 33.5 weeks as I write this blog. Over the weekend, I wore the same outfit three days in a row. Black Old Navy maternity leggings, a long gray comfy sweatshirt/tunic maternity top from the Gap, and my Uggs. JBB eventually made me throw it in the hamper when it was starting to get up and walk to the fridge for a snack by itself. I've reached the point where the only pants that are comfy are either leggings or those with the full belly panel , aka, big girl pants. Those little half panels are for sissies, I've decided. They dig into my stomach, and I picture Cookie inside there saying, "Hey mom, I'm squished in here." Similarly, a lot of my tops are getting snug now too, but I'm stubborn and don't want to buy new maternity shirts when I'm less than seven weeks from my due date. Hence wearing the same outfit three days in a row.

Another thing I've embraced in the home stretch: dry shampoo! This might seem like an odd side effect of pregnancy, but it has been a godsend. I have a very hard time falling asleep at night, and inevitably get settled and sleep the soundest in the few hours before I'm supposed to wake up. As a result, I often end up sleeping late and forgoing a morning shower so I can snooze for fifteen more minutes. In the past, I could never do this because my hair is so greasy that if I don't wash it in the morning you can scramble an egg on my head by noon. Well, someone suggested dry shampoo, and I haven't looked back! I use the Victoria's Secret brand, and I love it! My hair honestly looks just as good (some days better) than when I wash it fresh that morning. I know there will be many days with a newborn where I don't get around to showering, so my follicles and I are thrilled to have discovered dry shampoo. (Victoria didn't even pay me for this advertisement).

Other moose-like things happening around our house - I can't take my boots off by myself. Bending all the way over, maneuvering around my belly, and tugging them off is just too much effort for Cookie and I. Enter JBB to save the day! I feel like while on the whole I'm very glad to be pregnant in the winter, there are some possible advantages to a summer baby. It would be miserable to be in the final stages of pregnancy in hot weather, but you could at least throw on a sundress and flip flops every morning and call it day. Although, you'd also have to shave your legs more than once every two months, so that's a definite minus.

I also no longer feel comfortable wearing my wedding bands. Most days they fit fine, but sometimes when I go to pull them off at night, they are awfully snug, and I would be distraught if they got stuck and had to be cut off. So, they're staying put for now in my nightstand. I contemplated wearing them around a necklace, but was worried if the chain broke I would lose them. I have followed the lead of my friend Jill, who bought the biggest, showiest fake diamond ring she could find when she was pregnant with her daughter. Monday night I picked up a big ol' sparkler from Target; go big or go home, right? It has gotten several compliments, which cracks me up.

A few other things to note - my skin - it does not glow while pregnant. It does the opposite of glow, whatever that is. (Grimace? Glower?) If you don't believe me, I'll show you my passport picture, sans makeup. I look like I should show up on the 6:00 news as the latest Hoosier to be busted for cooking meth. It's terrifying. So, while my skin doesn't glow, my toenails GROW. And grow. And grow. And, you guessed it - there's no way in hell I'm contorting myself to cut them. Even I won't ask JBB to do that for me; instead, I view it as a nice excuse to get regular pedicures. My piggies have never looked so nice or felt so loved. (All the ladies at the nail salon think I'm having a boy, FYI.)

JBB would like me to let you all in on his million dollar, Shark Tank worthy idea - "Adult Pregnancy Bibs!" It doesn't matter what I eat, or how many napkins/towels/drop cloths I put on the front of me - I manage to get at least a fourth of my meal down the front of me. My belly is a magnet for food and water. JBB can't keep up with the laundry I generate. I also have a bad habit of eating in bed, so a lot of my dinner/breakfasts/snacks end up in the bed. It's a good thing I have a patient husband! We recently created a "bib drawer" for Cooks in the kitchen...I think mama's bibs need their own drawer too!

On the "baby prep" front, we are basically done. We have two more classes to go, and one more shower, but the baby could come tomorrow and we'd be okay. We have our pediatrician, we are pre-registered at the hospital, and we have car seats, crib, stroller, bassinet, and swing. With the exception of packing our overnight bags and installing our car seats, we are ready! Every night when JBB and I peek in the nursery, we look at each other and say, "All that's missing is the baby..." JBB has "read" several of the books to Cookie that we got at the shower. So far, we think "Where's Spot?" is her favorite, as that elicited the most wiggles. So, there you have it. Just some of the more fun side effects of the 3rd trimester. And I wouldn't trade it for the world. Every time I feel Cookie move (which is a lot) I fall in love all over again. I'd go through 1,000 3rd trimesters for one baby.