Life with a 15 pound 11 week old...

Our smiley baby boy...

It's official. We have a baby; our guy is no longer a newborn. He does baby things like coo, splash in the bathtub, and try to shove his entire fist in his mouth. It blows my mind that Linc is almost three months old - it literally seems like last week that we were in the hospital meeting our boy. Everyone always says a baby changes your life in more ways than you could ever imagine - they were right. Below, I present an array of ways that LLB has changed my life...

1.) Mealtime is not what it used to be. As I'm sure all parents do, JBB and I have become quite adept at eating one-handed, as the other hand rapidly pats Linc's diapered bottom, trying to stave off the nightly 6:30 pm meltdown. We've also become used to eating at least 50% of our meals cold. And fast. I, also, have become the person I hate. The woman who says, "I got so busy I just forgot to eat." Never in my pre-baby life did I get so busy I forgot to eat. I could have been in the middle of launching a rocket into outer-space, and I'd pause for a Lean Cuisine. Now, I frequently get to 2:00 pm, just as Linc and I've snuggled on the couch for our nap, and I realize I haven't eaten anything since a Fiber One bar at 8:30 am. You'd think I'd be a wraith, yet, I'm not. Harrumph.

2.) In the first month or so of Linc's life, before I was comfortable taking him too many places outside of family's houses, Linc and I watched a lot of daytime TV. We kicked our TV smorgasbord off with "Good Morning America," followed up by "Live with Kelly and Michael!" (love me some Michael...), then we'd watch "The Price is Right," roll into E!'s afternoon mini-marathon of "Sex and the City", which took us right up until "Ellen". Oh Ellen. How I love you; and you, DJ Tony; and wacky producer, Andy; and "Kevin the Cashier, played by Adaaaam!". (Can you tell I am an Ellen devotee?) You'd think with all of this TV watching I would be caught up on all of my shows. Yet somehow, I'm not. I DVR a zillion shows, ranging from "Polygamy in the USA", to "The Next Food Network Star," to "So You Think You Can Dance?", yet I feel like I never really pay attention to what I'm watching.

I always fire up the DVR when Linc is asleep, yet I'm not quite tired enough to sleep, and not quite awake enough to read. Ten minutes in, Linc's binky falls out, so I pop it back in. Five minutes later, he stirs, so I readjust his blankie and snuggle him a little closer. And then he wakes up five minutes after that, so we decide to do tummy time, and so it goes. If someone could fill me in on the life of my dancing polygamist chef, I'd appreciate it. (One exception - "The Bachelorette" gets my full and undivided attention. Monday at 9:00 pm, the TV is mine. Pretty sure it was in JBB and I's wedding vows - to honor in sickness, and health, and in trashy reality TV.)

3.) Now that Linky Lou is old enough to grip things, he's given me a forced style makeover. Not that I've ever been a fashion maven, but pre-Linc, I loved wearing big ol' earrings, and crazy costume jewelry necklaces. My philosophy was that jeans and a plain t-shirt could look great with dangly earrings or a long dramatic necklace. The first time Linc nearly ripped my earlobe in two, the earrings were replaced with little heart studs from Target. Shortly after that, he attempted to strangle me with my necklace, so my long, multi-stranded beads were gone. And, after losing two baby fistfuls of hair, it's all ponytail, all the time. No complaints on that one, as drying and doing my hair suddenly feels like an accomplishment on par with finishing a marathon, or completing a PhD in neuroscience.

4.) POOP!!!!! That is the exact text message I sent JBB on Friday afternoon while he was at work. Our little rascal hadn't pooped since Tuesday afternoon, and we'd been wringing our hands since Wednesday morning. Every diaper change was met with a breathless, "Did he poop??" followed by a sad little, "No...just pee." With every toot (and believe me, there were LOTS) I'd get so excited, sure that this was it. By Friday at noon, I called the pediatrician and was instructed to give Linc two ounces of just water to "loosen things up." Loosen things up it did. Maybe my favorite part of the Great Poop of 2013 - JBB's return text said, "Great!!! Can't wait to call and hear about it." I love it when he talks dirty.

Linky trying on Lady Liberty's
hat at Target this morning...

5.) I now execute running errands with military precision. There's no more spur of the moment Target trips; don't get me wrong, there are MANY trips to Target. Just not spontaneous ones. First, I feed Linc. Then, I change him. Then, after being thrown up on while running errands, I now wait 20 minutes post-bottle before setting out. Once all the plumbing matters have been seen to, I get Linc locked and loaded, gather up my diaper bag and reusable grocery bags, and we're off.

Once at Target, I drive around until I find a spot right
next to a cart corral. After nearly breaking my arm from carrying Linc in his punkin' seat all the way into the store, I figured out that mom-trick in a hurry. Linc is hoisted into the cart, my reusable bags are clipped onto the side with the carabiner I keep on my diaper bag, and my diaper bag is stashed on the bottom of the cart. By this point, Linc is asleep and I'm exhausted, so our first stop is for a Coke and popcorn; then we set sail to buy the five items that I can tuck around the sides of his seat. And then we do it all over again two days later.

What ways did your baby change your life? Am I the only one that finds going to the Target or the grocery so darned hard? And are there any good daytime shoes I'm missing??

Just a boy and his cow...